So I was organizing my documents on my computer when I found this. It's a little wordy, but I thought it might be worth a post...
One day I was watching a television show, which I would be embarrassed to even admit I was once a devoted fan. The plot line was pretty basic. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl, but a season or two of drama gets in the way. Boy and girl finally get together. Life is good. Then to boost ratings the characters are shot four years ahead into their future. Boy and girl are no longer are together. In fact, boy is engaged to another girl. Girl, unaware of the engagement, has come back to town to rekindle their relationship. Boy has no interest. Oh no.
The season continues and boy’s fiancé breaks up with him due to her belief that he still has feelings for girl. Boy gets drunk at a bar. Girl “rescues” him and takes him home safely. Boy responds to girl’s kindness with “I hate you. You have ruined my life.” His words drip with drunken bitterness and stab girl right where she is weakest. Credits. The audience is forced to wait for a whole week to see what girl will do. Girl, who has always been a great artist, responds with the obvious: art. She goes to their meeting spot, a place that has more memories than one can tivo, and paints on the cement. One is forced to wonder what girl is writing. Is it vengeful words or drawings that would wound the boy like he hurt her? No. It’s not dripping with hate, but with love. It’s a love song, which repeats the words “I will always love you” over and over. I was brought almost to tears-and I don’t cry.
The tears were not brought because of some nostalgia of my own love life or ever merely from some girlish sentiment. I saw instead a reflection of the love my heavenly father has for me.
In my life I have done many things. Some have been good and beneficial. Others have been hurtful and mean. I have done stupid things. Ones that I deter my mind from thinking about in order to keep from being overwhelming embarrassed. I am far from being blameless. As much as I say I love Christ and desire to abide in Him, I find myself in a war of the flesh. Don’t think about that…don’t do that…don’t say that! Sometimes I get so frustrated that I wish it were over. Not in a total suicidal way, but in a heaven sounds sweeter than the battles of life way. There are times when my love for the Lord is so sweet. My heart cries out for nothing more than His praises and for His glory to be shown. Other times I become wrapped up in myself. Its so about what I want and what I desire that my soul is not overflowing, but instead it becomes a black tunnel of selfish needs and desires.
The remarkable thing to me is God’s response to my inconsistencies is constant. Whether my actions are good or bad, He loves me and forgives me. In strength and sincerity my Father response with a love song of “I will always love you”. More over, in order for me to fully hear it and completely experience the joy that comes with having it be the soundtrack of my life He sent His precious son to die for me-and for that I am eternally grateful.
